


Fear

by Create



Category: Numb3rs
Genre: Developing Relationship, Friendship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-27 00:46:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10798218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Create/pseuds/Create
Summary: Ian is a man who has no fears, beside a huge problem with trust. This is his way how to cope with those fears.





	1. Heights

Ian Edgerton was afraid of nearly nothing. But there were still a few things which he didn’t like that much. Some of those things where heights and believe it or not spiders. Those fears are really nice if you are a tracker or a sniper. But what should you do? He ignored his fears the most he could and avoided things like climbing trees, ladders, a cliff or generally places where you are able to find spiders. The last tries to find Ian all the time. 

And now is he doing exactly one of these things he tries to avoid normally. The reason for this is quite simple. It is handsome, athletic has the most beautiful eyes and black hair which is going to curl up when he isn’t cutting it short regular. To call it by a name: Don Eppes. 

The said Don Eppes invited him to go out into the nature for a weekend and enjoy some peace. Ian really loved this idea, to spend some time with the man he’s loving since academy and so he agreed, not knowing that he had to climb a wall to go to the place Don wanted to show him. But what aren’t you doing to be near the person you really love. In Ian’s opinion too much. 

This lead him to be now in the middle of a cliff about 100 meter above the ground. The way up to this point was not that difficult. He managed it without much trouble and was really proud of himself till one moment. As he looked down, not one of his best ideas, did his fear capture him. Till this moment, he was able to ignore it, but knowing that you could fall down at any minute wasn’t really helpful and so he panicked. He pressed himself against the rock and hoped for a miracle to and his torture. 

It didn’t take Don, who enjoyed their first day of the weekend starting with a nice rock-climbing session long to realize that Ian was in trouble. “Ian, everything OK down there?”. He started to become worried, as he got no answer from Ian, who pressed himself more and more onto the cliff.

“Ian?” He still got no answer from his companion and so he decided immediately to climb down to him. “I’m coming down to you, Ok? Just try to stay calm and I’m there any minute.”

As he finally reached Ian, he knew the problem. Ian’s eyes where focused to the ground and he was frozen and not able to move at all. Great! He got the man he felt more than friendship for, into a situation where he was afraid. And his dad asks him why his relationships never last that long.

“Ok Ian, I’m here. I’m going to wrap my arm around you so you can’t fall down.” He did as said and also checked the rope to know if he could tie both of their ropes together. He tried to get the focus of Ian’s eyes to him and talked steadily to him to stop his shivering a bit and to calm him down enough to climb up. As he finally was able to get Ian look into his eyes, he saw the pure anxiety in his eyes.

Great! Don was really one of the few people to bring fearless people into one of the worst situations in their life. Not to mention that Don wanted to get closer to Ian. 

“Don’t worry, I’m going to save you, Ok? You just have to do what I’m saying and within a minute you are up there.” Ian started to relax a little bit and nodded slightly.

Don now started to bring himself behind Ian so that he was able to support him in the best way while climbing up. As this was done, Don told Ian to move his right hand first to a rock and then his left hand and following his feet where he could safely place time. Within about ten minutes and more calming words both man where at the edge of the cliff. Don helped Ian over the edge and followed him shortly, ensuring that Ian would not fall down and getting rid of the rope. 

Ian was relieved to be on solid ground again and rolled up like a ball and shivered. He was so focused in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice Don freeing him from the rope. He did too not notice that Don lay on the ground next to him and hugged him. It took Ian about 20 minutes to calm down enough to realize that he was in the arms of the man he loved so much and never thought to be that close to. 

After a few minutes of thinking how to start a conversation, Don started to talk. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry Ian! I’ve never thought about that you might be afraid of heights. I mean, you are a sniper, I thought that heights where a thing you had no problem with. I’m so sorry!” 

Ian looked into Don’s eyes. He really meant what he said. His eyes where full of sorrow, full of feelings, like the ocean. He couldn’t blame Don for not knowing it. Ian hide most of his personality and his fears where one of his best kept secrets beside being a great cook. 

“It’s Ok Don, you weren’t able to know it and I thought that it wouldn’t hit me like that.” Don looked at him with relive, but still worried and after a few minutes both man sat up next to each other. They didn’t talk for some time and as they got up, looked Ian around and saw the spectacular few. “Wow, that’s looking amazing!” Don just smiled and was happy that Ian still talked to him and joined him while the sun sank down.


	2. Food

As Don was sitting next to Ian, both looking into the beautiful scenario of the sun setting down over a beautiful valley, he realized that they should set up their tent and get some wood for a fire. Although he didn’t want to move away from Ian, he decided that it was time to do so and stood up. Don looked around and found a nice place where the tent would be a little bit hidden from a storm which might occur and started his work. 

Ian was in his thoughts, thinking about the hike up here, the way he couldn’t shake his fears of as usually and how Don saved him and brought him to a save ground. He never thought that a man like Don, handsome, intelligent and strong wouldn’t judge him for being such a huge milquetoast. 

Ian got up and decided to get some firewood for the night while Don took care of the tent. While looking for firewood, Ian found some delicious plants and fruits along the way and brought them to their little camp. As Ian came back, Don had already started a nice fire and was warmed his hands. 

“Ya’ feeling cold?” Ian asked while sitting down next to his companion, soting through the food he gathered.

“A bit. What you got there? Stealing the food of the animals?” Don chuckled a bit till Ian stared at him. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to say something wrong but, … I just wondered what you want to do with that.”

Ian looked at his favorite berries and put some of them in his mouth. “Eat it, what have you thought. I’m not going to plant all of them …”

Don smiled a bit as he saw that Ian relaxed again. “And you are sure we can eat that, I packed some food in my bag we could eat. I mean, I don’t want to die because of some berries…”

Ian just had to chuckle about Don. He had to admit that he was really cute. “I’m from an Indian tribe Don, I grew up in the nature and living from this stuff so you can trust me. But I wouldn’t mind knowing what you brought with you.”

“So, you are a Indian?” Don started to unpack the food he brought with them, presenting it to Ian. 

“Yep, grew up in a nice place, far away from civilization.” Ian looked through the things Don had brought with him and was amused to find enough chewing gum for the whole army and some other fruits. 

“And why have you then decided to join the army? I mean if you have so much nature, so much peace around you, why did you go away?” 

Suddenly Ian’s face got cold. The happiness which filled his eyes vanished within seconds and he was giving Don the coldhearted answer “Nothing you need to know, Eppes.” And disappeared into the woods, leaving a speechless man behind him.


	3. Restart

Before Don could react, Ian was out of sight. Don didn’t know what had happened. He just asked a question and didn’t mean to harm Ian, but now he is gone.

What should he do now? Ian nearly run away from him. Should he search for him? Does Ian even want to be found? Does he want to talk to him anymore, or has Don again ruined a relationship before it even started? But the better question is: What had happened in Ian’s past which makes him run away now?

After some minutes of reflection, Don decided to look after Ian. He knew that Ian could survive out here, better than anyone he knew, but he was worried about what he had said and wanted to apologize about it. 

He searched for about three hours and decided already to go back to the tent as a voice spoke to him. “You’re running in circles.” It was Ian! He found him! He felt so relieved and looked up to the tree where the voice came from. Ian looked more relaxed and was slightly amused by Don’s sorrowful appeal. 

“I’m sorry for what I’ve said. I really suck at conversations, especially when they are not about a case I’m working on. I haven’t thought about that you may not want to talk with me about your private life. I’m really sorry Ian.” Don looked worn out, because he really sucked at talking, at least that’s what all his ex’s say. “If you don’t want to talk with me about that, I do really understand that.”

Ian listened to Don and looked at the tree he was sitting on while Don spoke. He wasn’t good at talking either, in general when the topic is his childhood. That was the reason why he was never really close to anybody. He didn’t trust the others around him enough to talk about his history, but with Don, it was different. It’s not only that Ian trusts Don out in the field, knowing that he’s covered, it’s more the way that he is able to relax when Don is in the same room. He keeps him calm, is the rock who saves him, the person he wants to do or die with. “It’s Ok Don, I’m … my childhood was never that easy to explain and mostly, the people never really understood me and so I’ve never been that keen on talking about it.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, I … I really understand that.” 

Ian looked at him and suddenly realized that he’d climbed a tree and was now more than two meters above the ground. He got pale like a wall and didn’t move and just stared down. Don suddenly realized that again, he’d brought Ian into a situation where he normally would have never started to climb up the tree without thinking about what he was doing. He reached Ian and put his hand under his chin. He tried to get Ian to only focus on him, trying to calm him down like earlier that day and luckily with success. “Don’t worry Ok, I’ll get you down here without any incident. You only have to trust me and to follow my lead.” With that said, Don started to move down and reached for Ian’s hand to show him the best spot on the tree for a tight grip. As this was done, did he move Ian’s feet a bit above his and turned the black-haired man towards the tree. With slow and steady movements, both men could climb down and as they reached the ground, Ian started to relax immediately. 

He started to gain his color back and blushed a bit. “Seems like I owe you one for the two times you…” He gestured towards the tree and smiled shyly. 

Don put an arm at his shoulder “Don’t worry, you’ve done the same for me so… Let’s get back to the tent and get some of your berries into us.”

Ian chuckled a bit and together, they moved back to their little camp.


	4. Childhood

As they’ve eaten enough berries to be full, Don couldn’t resist his curiosity. “Why is a man like you afraid of heights? I mean, you’re a sniper, you look out for high places to do your job so why…?”

Ian started to smirk. Don was cute when he couldn’t really say what he wanted to say. “That’s a long story. You know that I’m from an Indian tribe? I grew up as a happy child, surrounded by nature, never hurting anything or anybody. We respect the nature and do only take the things from it, which we really need. My mother always said that you should give something to get a reward for it so… I have eight siblings. Only two sisters. We were a really happy family. One summer, I was 13, I started to grow fast and soon all my clothes were too small or generally didn’t fit my anymore and so did my parents decide to go shopping with me. It was a really nice day in the city nearby. We weren’t often there so it was always a huge adventure for me.” Ian smiled as he remembered those beautiful times, till his smile faded away and pure breach was visible on his face. “It started to rain on our way home and then suddenly, out of nowhere crashed a car into our car rushed down a cliff and my parents were dead.” He closed his eyes as the memories of his dead parents rushed into his mind.

Don didn’t know what to say or what to do. He lost his mother too, but he was grown up as it had happened and not a 13 year old boy who lost everything. 

“The police weren’t able to find the guy and put me into the next foster care. They didn’t believe me when I told them from where I came and said that that’s a nice story I’m telling them. The whole foster care was a nightmare. They abused all of children in any way you can imagine. When I finally got 18, I decided to join the army. Joined the rangers and that’s it.” 

Again, Don was speechless. He never thought that something like that was Ian’s reason to be such a private person. You know all kind of those stories but never consider those to happen to people who are close to you. You think, it’s all made up by Hollywood and hide yourself from the truth. “I… I don’t know what to say… I’m so sorry Ian. I …” Don wrapped his arm around Ian, as he didn’t know what else to do.

Ian stood up and Don thought that he’d hurt him again as he said “Let us go to bed”.


	5. Nightmare

Don woke up because of a rustling sound. At first, he was irritated, grabbing his gun, but then realized that the sound came from Ian. He immediately relaxed because he knew that Ian would never hurt him. As he looked to the side where Ian slept, he saw, that Ian threw himself from one side to the other. I looked like Ian had a nightmare. Not unknown for him.

Don suffered from nightmares too. Mostly after cases with children involved. Once, a criminal liked to torture young girls aged five to ten. The criminal liked to cut them on their body and after two days of torture, he started to eat them. Don shivered at this thought. 

He looked at Ian and hoped for him that it was not such a nightmare. Don wanted to shake Ian gentle into the reality, as he started the beg somebody to stop doing it, that it hurt him. Don stopped in the middle of his motion. What happened to such a strong man like Ian that left him begging like this? He wanted to touch Ian again as  
he started to scream out of pain and fear. Don was frightened because he never saw something happen like this. Especially with Ian, a man who seemed to always have control over everything around him. A person who always had a plan B for everything. Somebody who you couldn’t bring out of concept. 

This person had now a nightmare which seemed to have no end. Don decided to do the only thing that seemed for him right to do. He grabbed Ian by his arms and started to call his name. He got no answer at first and it looked like Ian is fighting someone in his dream. Don started to call his name louder and louder and shook Ian. He was afraid that he couldn’t wake him up but then, abruptly, Ian woke up and pinned Don down, holding his gun at Don’s head. 

Don was afraid to move. He’s been in numerous dangerous situations but never in a situation like that. He lay there and hoped for Ian to realize that his dream is over. That there was no danger and that Don would never hurt him in any way. 

Ian looked furious, with the look of full hate in his eyes, ready to kill at any minute. A ticking time bomb, ready to explode. 

“Ian, it’s me Don.” Was all Don said in the hope of waking him up from this awful nightmare.


	6. Gun

Suddenly Ian’s expression started to change. He looked around and didn’t know where he was. One second ago he was in the middle of a nightmare. 

He was back in his childhood. He was again 14 years old. His first nursing home. His social worker wasn’t really interested in him, because she was called really late to get him. She drove him to the Hamilton’s. Mr. and Mrs. Hamilton had already more than 20 children whom they took care of. Ian got there late at night when everyone was fast at sleep. But one of the elder boys woke up at the sound of a new boy arriving. Ian got something to eat and then Mrs. Hamilton shoved him into his new room. She told him to go to bed and closed the door behind him, not worried about what happened to him. He did as told and as the lights were out, a voice asked “Who are you?” Ian answered the voice and a boy stood suddenly over his bed. The boy was named Steve and grabbed him hard at his hands and pushed him down onto the bed “If you make one single noise, I’m going to kill you”. Steve put Ian’s hands over his head and opened his trousers. 

At this very moment, Ian woke up. 

Ian realized that the man he was holding a gun at his head was Don and not Steve.

Don still didn’t dare to move, he only looked into Ian’s eyes and hoped, that he would put the gun down. He tried to read his expression and saw hurt, anxiety and the desire to survive every bad thing in the world. But then suddenly, for the first time ever in all the years he already knew Ian, he saw him panic. 

The gun fell out of Ian’s hand and he started to sob. He turned away from Don, shocked about his own reaction.

Don locked the gun and put his hand onto Ian’s shoulder “Everything is Ok.”, was the only thing Don could say.

Ian started to cry like he had only a few times in his life and Don simply wrapped his hands around him. 

Don was holding Ian till the early morning hours. He knew that there was a lot they should talk about but for now he sat there, holding Ian in his hands.


End file.
